29 January 2009

motion

I am fine, I haven´t been on here, these days, so many things to do.I should have coped with everything in my life so as to write my thoughts and feelings here. In fact, there is an enchanting blog from Clay, http://clayrndarrow.blogspot.com/ and I own up that every night I read his blog and I spend an enjoyed time reading his fabulous writings. The good point is that makes me to think about creating something more concise. My astrologer and friend Izabel told me today that I should write the funny things I say. Many friends say this and I have to face up to that I love writing and it should be a catarse for me and a laugh for us!

http://izacris.sites.uol.com.br/tabelafasesdalua.html

22 January 2009

An Armenian Lunch

I had a recollection today after trying a little Arak with an old Armenian friend, Arthur. William Saroyan has been on my mind all afternoon, although I have had a very busy day. His delightfull and richly autobiographical novel Human Comedy is very updated, even though it was published in 1943. Nevertheless there has been war or wars in the world and those influence our lives, it is impossible to be ignorant to the facts that we have heard or watched on news. The way that Saroyan wrote about the “war” at that time, maybe, makes us think about Iraq War or even the “small wars” here and there, and how we deal with our feelings. In fact, we can´t pretend we live isolated. But ...coming back to my recollections in this afternoon.... I remembered the main character in Human Comedy: a boy becoming a man in an unordinary wartime and in an unexpected way. Human Emotions: humanity, love, war, money, death.....

Nothing is forever.....
Why argue?
Enjoy your time
Life is ONE..............

Cheers with Arak!

21 January 2009

Surrender

SURRENDER

I am not sure if age or the experience in life that makes us let go old “things” ...It is so good to let things go...old photos, old clothes, things that don´t match with what WE ARE TODAY...We have been changing, the personality, ideas, news points of view, so many reading and so many social interaction with other pointsof view that makes us think that LIFE IS MORE THAN “THIS AND THAT”. Most of time we don´t notice, maybe it is that kind of reading, kind of music, even the kind of person that doesn´t appeal to you anymore. Some people react and overreact to external changes, world is being changing, the economic situation is being changing. People have change very much. Consequently, we need to be more creative to deal with everything, especially our feelings. Some people grab to old habits, to what doesn´t work in their lives anymore....so it becomes worse, people even can be sick. In addition to this, there are people that just let “things” and “situations” go. Sometimes (in fact, many times I have notice) the best way to dealing to what it is not having to us, to dealing with “NEW” is just “surrender”.

blogging

I haven´t been blogging because I have been on holidays. Nothing special to write, just very hot days, sunbathing and organizing many pieces of paper of English classes. Next week the routine will be back: time, classes, gyms, time, preparation, make up, books, time, new edition of many books, students not interested in learning, time and time. However, yesterday I went to a "contemporay dance" class. It was very strange for me, I am attached to my routines, to rules and the trainer seemed to be detached from everything in life, as if she was a "hippie"...It was a good experience for me to face up to what I really like such as high heels...it is nice to walk with naked foot on the sand on the beach, but I prefer middle nice shoes, not necessarily high shoes all time, but just "shoes". No rules, tattoos, naked feet, dancing to be aware of what you feel. All in all, I will go back to belly dance next week.

16 January 2009

I gave up

I gave up. After a happy week with good surprises in my life, a blissful ignorant behaviour made me feel helpless, today. I tried to understand him, I tried to be friend but I was not able enough because there is no communication between us. I don´t like argue, I like having good memories from people. However, there are people that don´t like peace of mind. Unfortunately there are people that say "they are friends", when they just want to argue and war and hurt....

I GAVE UP.....It is not possible to go on a friendship like this.

14 January 2009

A Poem for you

D

When I notice I was caught

Without noticing in your trap

Darling, you are really naughty

Where are you in the world map?

D. D. D.

I don´t know your name

D. D. D. Are you in Vanity Fair?

You beat me at your own game

It is not fair.

D. D. D.

How is your life?

I made an embroidery. It is a kite

Because you were in my mind

Cookies, bread, cake, slice

I am alone, Darling, don´t you mind?

You are not here, but you might

Holidays, sun, bermuda shorts, kite

D. D. D.

13 January 2009

Sunny Day!

Definetely a hot sunny day doesn´t match with São Paulo. Is is impossible to be confortable in a suit or in social decent clothes. I should be in the mountains where it is usually coller these days! Nevertheless, today it was a remarkable day because I started to write a poem, a poem with rymes to my DARLING.

12 January 2009

time and motion study

What a long day! I was able to do everything I had planned, but I really miss him at this time. What would he think about my instinctive answers to some silly questions. I couldn´t evade, he knows that. Although I am a woman, he treats me as if I were a man, unbelievably. I have no idea why. I have already tried to understand but he gaves up, he doesn´t talk to me anymore, he doesn´t comes across suddenly, as an ideal gift, in the middle of night, I had trusted him so much, but he never trusted me. This made me sad many times and now..only now, I strongly believe I gave up before him. It is difficult to understand a timid behaviour. I just wanted to tell him that I had bought a very good book that is making me "understand" him, his strange behaviour, his silence after my words, his anger as reaction to what I always said. Well, I just said many things for him to understand what I was and what I am. However, what was an exchange ideas for me, they were insults as far as he is concerned and Never that I can say will change his stubborn determination to judge me as ignorant. Consequently he ignored me and he has ignored me and maybe I will never talk to him again. He misunderstood everything. While I explained my ideas and personality, he jugde me over and over again until he doesn´t miss me anymore, until he talks to me just 20 minutes, 10 minutes....5 minutes.....1 minute...and then......all the silence is here, although I listen to his songs and feel his smell. Anyway, he just put me in an awkward position. I am really sad, now, because I had a very good day and I just wanted to share with him. I gave up. Good night, my darling! You are always in my heart.

Flowers of the Day